new year

It’s easy to get maudlin at the end of the year. After all, it signifies the end of another rotation of our planet around the sun, and a reduction of the number of years we have left on it. But it is also a good time to take stock and assess whether our year has gone according to plan or completely off piste. In the spirit of that sentiment, here’s my little review of 2018.

Family: My daughter turned 18. She is now, officially, an adult. An adult who is wise in so many ways and naive in so many others. ‘Adulting’ as she is finding out, is not as much fun as it’s made out to be. Exam pressures, University applications and a sudden responsibility to act or behave in a certain manner because of a ‘certain number’ are taking their toll on her. To me, bittersweet as this transition may be, it gladdens my heart to get glimpses of the adult she will one day become. I see that the foundations are strong and the lessons have taken root, which is all and more than I could have hoped for.

The rest of us are caught up in our own daily dramas of school, friends and work. For my second daughter, it has been a year of discovery. One that has shown her that people are not always what they portray themselves as. Friends aren’t always for life, and sometimes, in your deepest, darkest moments, it is the unexpected person that reaches out to you. It is a lesson she would do well to imbibe. It is one that I have been learning steadily over the last few years. People and circumstances change. Do not invest more than necessary in them. Invest in what is important- yourself and your loved ones. Even then, as they say, pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Career: My husband’s has gone swimmingly. I am grateful to see him happy and busy. Even though, at times, it cuts into family time, but when a person is fulfilled in what they do, they bring so much more to the table. My career, on the other hand, has been a graph of highs and lows. I’ve dabbled in various aspects at work, including teaching, which never in a million years would I have thought I’d enjoy or be good at. I did/was both. Sadly, that tenure has ended. Somewhere within me though, I feel I will return to it in the future, when other commitments are not as binding.

My job has seen so many changes because the company itself is changing and morphing into another identity. At times, I’ve felt lost and at sea. At times, I’ve not enjoyed going to work. However, these are petty annoyances. In the grand scheme of things, I still appreciate what I do and take great pleasure in being able to interact with such a variety of people because of the nature of my job. More fodder for my writing…

Writing: What a year it has been! Two books out. The first one, an unexpected success. The second one, a slow burner. I’ve learnt so much in the publication of these books. The most important lesson being that no matter your blood, sweat and tears (second book), the outcome is not in your hands. Despite having poured hours of hard graft into ‘Damage’, the reception has been lukewarm. There could be many reasons for this, and I have examined them most, but I have learnt that dwelling on the non-success of a project is only stalling me from further creative output. Move on!

I have also learnt that being an Indie-publisher doesn’t end with publishing. Marketing is a significant part of getting the word out and getting fresh eyes on your books. At my ripe age, I am taking a course in marketing. If nothing else, it will give these grey cells a good workout. 🙂

Travel: South Africa, Gibraltar, South Korea, Thailand, India and Switzerland. We have racked up the miles this year. The more I travel, the more the world shrinks. The more I travel, the more I discover that people are the same the world over. Forget about language, culture, skin colour or any other man made barriers, we are all flesh and blood creatures, sentient and complex, capable of great evil and even greater good! Travel broadens minds and horizons in ways that nothing else can. It also erodes the capacity to hate and divide. In the wise words of Miguel de Unamuno- “Fascism is cured by reading, and racism is cured by travelling.” (Attributed).

Reading: I aimed to read 24 books this year, 2 a month. I thought that was a lofty enough goal. I’ve surpassed that by 5 books already, and hope to have finished 30 by the end of the year. The books have been mostly fiction, and in such a variety of genres that I am unable to explain just where my inclination lies. Suffice to say, if it’s good, I’ll read it.

I think my reading has trickled into my writing, as it was bound to do. A friend commented on how varied the stories in my second book were. It’s almost as though I’ve subconsciously wanted to explore many voices, just as I’ve consciously explored many lives.

Reading is and always has been, my first love. How else could this innocent, unsophisticated girl living in a South Delhi house, have explored the world without actually travelling it? Reading was my window to so many cultures, so many histories, so much laughter and love and pain. It still is, and I hope generation after generation will discover the undiluted pleasure of losing oneself in the world of words.

Finally: Taking stock means relegating all that is useless to the past and going forward with lessons learnt and a desire to do better in the year ahead. To that end, I banish hurt, disappointment, anger, frustration and negativity to the past. I take with me a love for my family, my few good friends and gratitude that I am able to traverse this journey called life, in the company of those who matter, doing what I love.

Goodbye 2018. Hello 2019!