I hate leaving things incomplete, whether that is chores, books or relationships. Nearly everything I start, I like to finish (or at least finish in my mind). It is a personal quirk of mine, and can be quite an annoying one, especially if you have to suffer through an argument where I refuse to give up till I have the last word. Ask my husband.
I’ve always known that I have this trait, but I was reminded of this quite recently when it came to a television show I’d been watching. ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ is a show I’d invested in quite heavily. Aside of the excellent book it is based upon, and the terrifying parallels it displayed of the world we live in currently, I thought it had been translated brilliantly to the small screen. The first season at any rate. The second season went beyond the source material, and for a while, exhibited all the signs of soaring beyond the original text to something deeper, darker, with even more resonance. Then I saw the end, and without spoiling anything for anyone wishing to watch the show, the victim turned vigilante twist was a little too much to stomach.
Never mind, I thought. The third season is bound to be better. I struggled through the first six episodes, slowly and quietly getting desensitised to the horrific, brutal acts against the women in the show. Wasn’t I meant to be appalled, to be enraged? Why was it having this counter-intuitive effect on me? Still, I carried on watching, in the hope that this now depressing tale would offer me some glimmer of hope.
After episode six I went on holiday. When I came back, I completely forgot to watch the rest of the season being broadcast on catch-up television. Upon finally remembering that oh yes, I still have seven odd episodes to watch, I was mildly annoyed to discover that I could only pick it up from episode 10 onwards. This is where my conundrum lies.
Do I just forget about the entire thing, as I wasn’t really enjoying it anymore? The only thing that had me hooked was the stellar cast, but the storyline itself was so mired in confusion and sado-masochism that it had put me right off. Or, should I just pick up from episode 10 and see it through till the end, filling the gaps with guesswork?
Sadly, I’m unable to do either. I hate leaving things unfinished, even shows that aren’t grabbing me anymore, especially if I’ve invested a significant amount of time in them. Nor am I one of those people who skim watches stuff, quite content to ignore the minutiae that the story is built upon. So, what do I do?
I have abandoned just one book in recent history. A book that had me so depressed that I was physically unable to turn another page. Guess what? That bothers me still. Particularly as it’s hailed as a modern classic, and I wasn’t able to finish it!!
Which also highlights the irony of my own writing journey. My stories rarely have all loose ends tied up, I often leave the ending open to interpretation and they are largely quite dark in their subject matter. Do I have any right to complain then if someone leaves midway through my book? I guess not.
Life is messy and unpredictable. With the best will in the world, not everything one starts will be completed. And that’s okay. As long as you are enjoying the journey, little else matters.
As for my show, I’m just going to wait for the entire thing to drop on Amazon Prime, and then over a weekend, a bottle of wine and a bag of crisps, pick up where I left off. If the end doesn’t please me, I won’t bother with season 4. There’s way too much life to be lived, without worrying about unfinished business…
