There it is. I’ve come up against it once more. This feeling of ennui, a sense of “is any of it worth it”, questions like “who wants to read me anyway?” and there you have it. Writer’s Block. The inability to proceed with any kind of worthwhile writing.
You could ask me “you are writing this blog, aren’t you?” I would have to answer honestly and say yes. Equally honestly, I’d have to own up and say that this isn’t my true métier. Blogging, to me, is like having a conversation with my readers. It’s sometimes topical, sometimes thought provoking and nearly always stream of consciousness. It’s also fairly easy. I have a thought and I try and pin it down on screen.
Writing fiction is a whole other ball game. To write the stories I write, I have to reach inside of me and pull my innards out. As you can imagine, that is not an easy process.
So, why this debilitating pause in the proceedings?
I have ascribed various reasons to it. Firstly, it’s been an unusually hectic time. Christmas, New Year, work, vacations and multiple social do’s. Secondly, I’ve got the dreaded flu, so naturally, I am unable to concentrate with the fever, hacking and general listlessness. But really, underneath it all, lies another, more corrosive thought. The joy has gone out of my writing.
Why would such a thing happen? For an inveterate story teller, there is no greater pleasure than spinning a yarn that is swallowed whole by avid readers. Yet, doubts about marketability, about readership, about my own abilities, are swamping whatever amount of happiness I derived from my writing.
The easy thing to do would be to carry on writing as I did before. For myself. For my need to tell the stories that I needed to. Yet, having become aware that there is another side to this ‘business’ of writing, I am unable to ignore it altogether. Every word has to be weighed, every outcome analysed and suddenly, I feel I am back to studying accountancy and my balance sheet is refusing to balance.
It is said that true writers show up to the table and write. If that is the case, then I am a fraudulent one because the mere act of showing up at the table exhausts me.
Will I be able to punch a hole through that block? Only time will tell.
I don’t know if what I say helps with getting you out of your rut….
Having read both your books and I think I have said this to you as well.. I have thoroughly enjoyed them.I love the way you bring the characters to life and how they are relatable (especially if you have grown up in India) The books are well written. You have told me people think they are a bit dark, I say they are Fifty Shades of Dark without the sex. Keep churning those books out. Looking forward to your next.
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Ah! How lovely to hear this. I guess once inspiration strikes, I will return to it. Right now, I’m just putting one foot in front of the other.❤️
You can do it!!
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Ah, thank you!😊
Poornima…you may be feeling a distance from your writing at the moment and that’s probably just a natural hiccup in your writing journey. You have worked so hard to getting your second book of short stories up and running and maybe didn’t get the response that you had hoped for but this really doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it.
Most of your stories are excellent, your writing continues to evolve and is always filled with characters that we as readers want to know more about, their lives, motivations and conclusions.
Very very soon you will hear a phrase from someone that you will find intriguing, read a real life article, read a snippet of something in the news, be shocked by an atrocious act. The seed will be sown and you will use this seed of an idea in your mind, play with it and you will start creating a character. So before you know it you will be on to your next story.
You HAVE to write, it’s second nature for you. However every writer must have natural space within their writing lives so you are able to regroup, rethink and evolve. Don’t beat yourself up too much but just allow yourself to breathe, take a deep breath and breathe new life in to your new writing but only when you are ready!
Lastly I am in awe of the work that you have done, your writing output and the quality of your stories. Take a break, get better and I look forward to your next book.
Wishing you all the very best
Maria
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You are so right Maria! I’ve decided to forget about the last book & focus on the next. It’s the only way forward.❤️